pfffft

My mother's friend, Sherry, recently got very in depth about all the grotesque things her body does now that she is getting older. She happens to be a 6th grade teacher, so very close to the age of kids that I work with. One of the less, yes, less, detailed topics she touched upon was flatulence. Sherry feels a lot more gassy now a days, for no reason in particular. A big problem is when she stands up and some gas seeps out unsuspectedly. The majority of the time it makes no noise, but she fears that as time goes on, the noise will come along with the wind.


The big problem with this, as a teacher, Sherry stands up and sits down a number of times throughout the day with prepubescent surrounding her. Nothing, and I mean nothing, sets of prepubescent kids like farts! When they hear one, they just cannot get over it. Ten minutes later they are still talking about it and giggling.


I am glad I am not in Sherry's situation, as if she is caught "letting one rip" so to speak, it will never be forgotten by her students. However, I do think she has some options. First, and probably the most profession thing to do would be to ignore it. Continue on like nothing happened. The kids will notice, but they would never accuse the teacher of farting. They will instantly turn the blame to each other. Being the leader of the classroom, Sherry could simply tell the kids to drop it. The other option I have come up with is to simply blame one of the students. The first option was the high road, this, not so much. But, the teacher definitely won't be accused of committing the fart crime if she looks toward some of the students as the culprits.


Either way, when a fart slips out in front of the kids it is a sight to see. Sometimes, the dealer's jaw drops, and guilt is quickly painted across his or her face. Other times, possibly when more seasoned farters slip, fingers are quickly pointed accusing anyone within the general vicinity. So, in the end, my advice to Sherry would be to not respond like the jaw-dropping, guilt ridden dealer. Play it cool, have no reaction, and the kids will inevitably blame each other.