Fire!

As I was cooking dinner tonight, a sudden panic struck as an ear piercing ringing began to blare through the house. "Fire, fire," it shouted. "Evacuate!" In my panicked state, I reeled around and checked my surroundings. No fire. Definitely no fire.

I was cooking, but I wasn't burning anything and nothing seemed to be smoking extensively. With Shea's barking adding to the compounding fire alarm, I opened the windows and glass doors so all of the neighbors could hear the lovely sounds. It wouldn't have made a bad song. Certainly not any worse than what Balloon Boy's family considers music:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmcpgAcLC8k

With the fresh air coming in, and the apparently smokey air flowing out, the alarm finally shut down. I felt like cowering away to the attic and hiding in a box while awaiting the fire department to come. How ridiculous was I going to look when fire trucks pulled up this highly suburbanized neighborhood to find a fool like me holding a spatula?

As I was running through  the scene in my mind, I remembered that this is a private house, not a college dorm. Perhaps I have not come to this realization because of the lasting effect setting off a fire alarm in my college dorm has had on me.

Flashback to my junior year: my boyfriend at the time, my current husband, was working nights and had come to my room to take a nap. Fast asleep in the bedroom, I was hungry. With all of my masterful cooking skills, I decided to heat up a roll I found in the freezer. From what I have learned, frozen rolls do not heat up in the microwave very well. I had only set the microwave for one minute. Before that minute was up smoke was seeping through the cracks of the microwave door and the little roll had turned from a nice doughy color to an ashy black. I picked up the roll and placed it outside of the window thinking I had saved myself. Moments later the fire alarm went off and the entire dorm had to evacuate.

I woke Jeff up, because the alarm didn't, and we went outside. Soon thereafter the fire department arrived, storming the building with axes. It was just a little roll, no need for axes! I hadn't done anything on purpose, but I felt as though I was a criminal. "Go on," Jeff urged. "You need to tell them."

If I had a tail, it would have been sunk between my legs. I felt like I was walking to electric chair as I approaching the overseeing firefighter. I had just opened my mouth to explain that I was the one who had set the alarm off and it was no reason for concern, just a scorched bun, when a fully-clad firefight emerged. "I got it!" he shouted. In his hand, he held up the dinky, black roll I so badly wanted to snack on.

I like to think that this was the beginning of me interrupting Jeff's sleep. Once married, he wrongfully feels that I hog the bed and the covers. I feel quiet the opposite is true. Either way, Jeff, I advise you to use these last nine months to catch up on all of the sleep I will deprive you of for the rest of your life. Do it now, before your time runs out!