Torpedos

How good are you at spotting boob jobs? I, being a woman who does not seek out boobs to look at, am not all that great at it. As I have become a more frequent visitor of "The Dirty," I have, however, learned to spot the obvious.

I can't help but think of the Seinfeld episode where Jerry questioned if his new girlfriend's boobs were real or fake. Elaine tries to touch them in order to let Jerry know. Apparently fake boobs feel different the real thing, obvious at the touch.

I ran into a close family friend the other day. A person I have known my entire life and see often enough to notice any differences in her appearance. Haircut, I notice. Highlights, I notice. Lose ten pounds, I notice. I have gone shopping and swimming with this person. Why is this important? Because when I saw this woman the other day, her chest nearly slapped me across the face. A chest that has always been fairly large, but never popped out at me like gophers in a whack-it arcade game.

I have pictures of what I think are new boobs. Those that know her, agree that this is a strong possibility. They look gigantic. Much more than normal.

Being a person who loves a plan, I have began to formulate one in my head. How will I find out? I don't think getting a boob job is something you openly tell people. How can I get it out of her? Hoping to see her soon, I am going to start a conversation about Christmas. This person wants this, what does that person want, what are you asking for, blah, blah, blah. Trivial chit chat. Then, I will throw it out there. "I am asking for a boob job for Christmas. What do you think?" I am hoping with that, she will admit hers and tell me what it was like. Why do I care? I don't know, I really don't. I am just that incredibly bored!

I may have to pull an Elaine and pretend to trip next time I see her to try and get a feel. Either way they are certainly, as Jeff would say, torpedos!

 For fun: (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Usg7NNmssEU)