TGATT

Out of the blue, a friend sent me a link to an interesting article. I read the whole thing because it was extremely short. Take a look:

Boyfriend Arrested

Disgusting? Yes. Worthy of arrest? Questionable. But, it got me thinking. 

Jeff has never shot bloody snot at me. However, he has done some disgusting things. Some things, that according to the arrest standards relating to this article, I could have him arrested for. One thing stands out. A little something Jeff likes to call "The Great American Torture Test."

"The Great American Torture Test" resembles a scene from one of my favorite movies, Big Daddy. The scene were little Julian shows off his spitting skills. As he makes his spit touch the ground and then sucks it right back up without spilling a drop. Remember how proud he was after he did it?

Anyways, the is a big difference between what little Julian did and the actual test. When Jeff tests me, he pins my arms down, and sit on my stomach. Like that isn't torture enough! Then, he does the Julian thing right over my face. Being immobilized, there is nothing to be done other than laugh as spit dips down toward your face. "The Great American Torture Test" never ends as cleanly as Julian's spitting expedition. I always wind up with spit on my face. It starts with a little trickle, but will eventually turn into a nice big glob in the middle of my face. 

So, with the revelation of the above article, I believe I can have Jeff arrested on similar grounds. I like knowing that it is an option. Most likely, I will not bring any action against my husband. I thought at first that maybe it could teach him a lesson. But, I have decided I do not want my husband to have to shower in prison, I don't want to have to waste money bailing him out, and I don't want him to be an ex-con for the rest of his life. 

Besides, at this point, I would love to undergo "The Great American Torture Test!"