Too Much Valium

Today was Jeff's LASIK surgery. Nothing like a celebration of our uniting than taking a laser to the eye.

Jeff went in for surgery at about 2:30 this afternoon. At 4:00 p.m. when he had not been returned to me yet, I began to worry slightly. Was he blind? Good thing he took one good, long last look at Shea! He mentioned how he was appreciating the beautiful greens and blues of the world on our drive to the LASIK center. Then, just as I was warding off panic, I felt a tap on the head, and there he was, looking studly in the same sunglasses my 85 year old grandfather wore ten years ago before he died. I borrowed them for a second:

Anyways, it got interesting after my valium induced husband was blindly (no pun intended) walked to the car. He was chatty, making sure I knew where I was going, as if he even knew where he was. Once he sat down however, something must have changed. Changed so much he began to freak out.

"I need food now, or I'm going to pass out. It's too hot! I need the air conditioner on or I'm going to pass......" And, he passed out. I actually thought for a moment that he was dead. Slouched over in his seat, unresponsive to my voice and touch. But, I decided I would keep driving and this may be normal. Luckily, after only a minute or two, before I got too nervous, he came to.

The first words he uttered were, "Lish, I think I pissed myself. I dreamt I was peeing." I looked at his pants and did not see any remnants of pants pissing. So I told him I thought he was mistaken. Until a minute or two later. I refrained my original opinion.

"Yea, I think I smell pee."

With another check of the pants, it was clear, Jeff had indeed pissed himself. Now, don't go getting all upset at me for writing about this; for ratting my husband out in a moment of weakness. He finds it hilarious. He is a very proud 30-year old pant pisser. And me, I love him all the more for this.