Thankful for Music

As I went through my first full day without Jeff, I realize that the reality of this situation has not yet hit me. I have gone several days at a time without seeing my husband due to road trips, recruiting events, and overnight basketball camps. It is all a part of the lifestyle. On top of that, I have to move my things out of this apartment by tomorrow. I have been putting of my whole moving ordeal, because I don't want this whole thing to be real. Needless to say, I had a lot of work (packing and cleaning) to do.

When I got up this morning, I started tackling the whole project. I was bored quickly and felt as though I was missing something. I was distracted by anything and everything. Then I realized, I had no background noise of any sort. We had canceled our cable last night, so the hum of the TV wasn't present. Although I rarely sit down and watch a show, I do like to have the TV on just for to have some noise. With no cable, my solution was to fire up my iTunes and listen to some music while packing and cleaning. 

I've always enjoyed music. I like to sing out loud, although most people don't enjoy listening to me sing out loud. However, I had never understood the obsession and necessity of music. Now, I do! It can really play with your emotions. My eclectic collection of music took me on a roller coaster of emotions as I moved through the apartment. One second I was singing along to Billy Joel's "Uptown Girl" and the next I am crying as I belt out "I Swear" along with All 4 One. Some of the words just hit me in the perfect place, as if they were saying, "Jeff is 450 miles away and you don't get to see him everyday." I figured the slow sappy songs would do that to me. I expect that I may get a little teary eyed when songs like "You'll Always Be My Baby" and "One Sweet Day" come on. I didn't think I would cry when songs like Usher's "My Way" came on. I didn't think a lyric like, "she keeps running back to see me do it  my way," would get my emotions flowing. But to me, I am thinking, I wish I could just run back to him. 

Obviously, my mind is in a different place than when I normally hear that song! 

Other than the emotional roller coaster that was today, I made it through and made lots of progress getting packed and cleaning this place up. Tomorrow I just have to clean the bathroom, always a favorite, and load up my stuff. I will let ya know how that goes. I am looking forward to a good sleep, if possible. Sleeping on Jeff's side of the bed always makes me feel better. But, better than what is the question!