A Day Away

Tomorrow is Friday. A Friday that I fly out to Cleveland! I woke up this morning fully convinced that today actually was Friday. What a blow to find out it was really Thursday.

It's weird. The closer I get to seeing Jeff, the more at ease I should feel. That's what I had imagined anyway. But, as I get closer, I almost feel worse. I feel like I can't make it one more day. I just can't. My plane leaves at 6:15 tomorrow evening. Right now, 6:15 seems. to me, as far away as it did two weeks ago when I last left Jeff. And it seems like an eternity ago since we said goodbye.

I know tomorrow, my day at work, will fly by. They always do. We are so busy, and being surrounded by smiling 10 year olds is a big help. It's the flight I am dreading. It will seem so long that I might as well crawl all the way to Cleveland.

Either way, the main thing is that I will be there. I am looking forward to just being in the physical presence of Jeff. As tired as I am right now, I can't help but look forward to falling asleep next to my husband. A feeling, when I got married, I never thought I would have to live without. Now that I am, I try to find comfort in strange places. For example, I sleep with a Case Western Basketball t-shirt on, like somehow that brings me closer to Jeff. I sleep on what would be Jeff's "side" of the bed.  I have an extra pillow that I cling to, as if it were human.  And poor Shea gets the brunt of my loneliness, as I tell him 900 times a day how much I love him, and give him more hugs and kisses than the average dog sees in a lifetime.

Come fast tomorrow, please. Jeff, you better give me a big hug when you see me. Don't let go for a little while. I need it. Why? Just because.