Gracious Winners

Sore losing is a horribly embarrassing thing. I am a whole-hearted supporter of being passionate about your endeavors and doing all that you can to win or achieve them within the societal norms. While disappointment is inevitable and acceptable, acting ridiculous is not.

I have been involved in competition my entire life. In third grade I entered the Invent America contest for little geeks who thought they had creative ideas. Being the master of little geeks, I was not going to lose to those geekier. I entered that contest with the notion of winning! My novel idea of an "over the bathtub book holder" won! And how about that name? I came up with it all by myself! To my disappointment, after the regional portion of the event, I lost in the state finals. But, at eight years old, I was able to lose with dignity. Congratulating my opponent and walking out with my head held high.

As a child, that is difficult. But, the more you compete, the more likely you are to lose at certain points in your life. It helped as I swam competitively, played basketball, soccer, baseball, softball, and was a band dork. I developed into a very competitive person, yet I learned how to accept losing, without necessarily being okay with it.

With the competitive spirit running high, I quickly learned that with winning, comes great responsibility. So many times you win and want to run up to your opponent and rub it in their face. You want to point out how silly they looked and how absurd they were for thinking they had any sort of chance. You want to be that person that lifts their shirt over their head and pounds their chest.

But, it's important to be gracious. Possibly the best advice winners hear is to "act like you've been there before." You do this whether you've actually been there before or not. Winning takes class, like Michael Jordan used to have. Take pride in yourself and your team, but not at the expense of the losers. When my "over the bathtub book holder" won, I was thrilled. I won a savings bond and a transistor radio. So cool! I was proud of my invention, but in no way demeaned anyone else's project. If I could do it at eight, you can do it now!

I write this because a family of mine ran for local office. In a campaign turned dirty, my relative kept it clean from his side. He lost in a very close race. Today I received a message from a supporter of the opponent.  Someone I haven't seen in eight years, and have maybe spoken a total of 3 words to ever. The message was, "the RIGHT man won." I couldn't bite my tongue. I responded passive aggressively with, "Wow! Not sure what made you think it was a good idea to post that.....but very gracious winning!" I had several other expletives I would have liked to thrown out there, but I didn't want to be at that same level. In the back of my mind, I couldn't help but think this person must have never won anything before, because she certainly doesn't know how to act.

A long night of waiting for the results of the election made me wish Jeff was there to share in the excitement. While the result wasn't what we wanted, it was a proud day. I love family events. Even more so when I am with the person I most consider family. (Shea wasn't allowed at this event, so Jeff would have been the next best option!)