Cold

I hate the cold. I really, really hate it. And with that, winter is coming. In the past two days, the temperature here in upstate New York has dropped at least 20 degrees. When this time of year starts creeping in, I can't help but wonder why anyone lives here! The cold is painful. Why did anybody settle in this area way back when, and why did the generations after that stay here? 

Although I am not completely convinced, I think my answer came in the form of an email this morning. The email is from my aunt who lives in Naples, Florida. One of the most beautiful places right on the Gulf Coast, with warm weather! Ahhh, I melt just thinking about it. Everyone should live in Naples! Well, maybe there are some reasons, some worries, some things, that keep people away from residing in this beautiful southern town. This may be one of them: 

http://www.naplesnews.com/news/2009/sep/29/unexpected-school-visitor-7-foot-gator-caught-lake/

A seven to eight foot alligator roaming around at a local elementary school. That could pose a big problem! Luckily, no students were present when the alligator was discovered and it was safely removed before any students arrived at school. While it sure makes for an entertaining story, I am glad I don't have to worry about an alligator wandering into my classroom. Instead, I worry about the heat not working. 

A Hot Mess

A few years ago, I remember my aunt telling me that nobody would know my room was a mess when they looked at me. She thought I "put myself together" pretty well. I agreed with her for the most part. I put on a good front.

I feel that since I have begun what is considered the real world, which consists of a job, cooking, grocery shopping, taking care of a house, my togetherness has greatly diminished. My room, however, is not such a mess. But, to be honest, I'd rather have things how they used to be.

Although you never truly know how you look through someone else's eyes, I envision myself as seemingly disheveled. I have always found humor in the fact that my grandmother carries around handfuls of bags wherever she goes (sometimes, she fills bags with more bags, just to have bags in case of emergency). Slowly, I have turned into a bag woman as well. With my job, comes paper work. My bags overflow with papers. On top of that, I like to have other things readily available, so I bring them along with me.

Every time I get in and out of the car, shuffling my belongings is a challenge. I nearly fall out of the car everyday, thrusting my belongings over my shoulders. Like someone who has just fallen, I look around to make sure nobody sees me. This happens everyday! I try to compose myself, but never quiet feel like that is ever accomplished. Part of my problem is that I highly disagree with making multiple trips. If I have 10 bags of things to bring in, I am determined to get them all in all in one trip. This only adds to the mess that is me.

Today, I realized I need to slow down, gain control, and with that, maybe some composure. It came to my attention more than ever today. As I was getting out of my car, three big bags ready to come with me, I went to step out and was pulled right back to the seated position by the seatbelt I had forgotten to unbuckle. This has to be the epitome of bag woman! If only my husband could see me now!

The Bigger Picture

I just learned of the death of a peer. Unbeknownst to me until yesterday, she spent the last year of her 25 battling kidney cancer that quickly spread throughout her body. I cannot say that I knew her well, or had even seen her since high school, but as anyone from a small town can attest, news like this has an effect.

Looking at a young girl, who battled and fought, it is hard to look at your own life, or the lives of those around you and dwell on negativity. With logical thinking, the problems of our everyday lives seem so miniscule. In fact, they are. How can anyone justify the problems in their life when envisioning a family who has just lost everything in the form of a 25-year old girl?

As a teenager, I knew this girl as a very kind and likable girl. I can tell, by seeing the outpouring of support, that she grown up to be much more than that. Looking into the level of people she had supporting her throughout her illness, and now in the aftermath, it is quiet evident that she was exceptional. Masses of people do not respond in that way for just anyone.

In a time that I am sure her family is unconsolable, I pray that they find comfort in knowing that their daughter, sister, and friend served as an inspiration to so many. In her young life, a life that was certainly too short, she has made a difference.

A Little Chaos Never Hurts

Last night I slept at my parents house. After I got married and moved out they put the most uncomfortable bed on the face of the planet in my old bedroom. You can literally feel the springs banging against your back. No matter how much you toss and turn in search of a comfortable landing, you don't find it!

With little sleep, I heard some stirring downstairs. Shea, who was sleeping at the foot of the bed, was curious about what was going on and got up to check it out. I was taking a moment to roll myself out of bed, when I heard him greeted with love and excitement. I figured I could relax and try to catch a few more minutes of sleep.

When I woke up a second time, it was not to loving greetings, but to the noise of chaos. From what I gathered, the toilet had overflowed and my parents had rushed to try to adhere the problem. This means they left their breakfast sitting on the table. In their home, that is not really considered a bad move. I, however, find it to be an idiotic move!

From the noises, voices, and ruckus I heard, I imagine that it went something like this. My parents gathered around the toilet with a plunger, concentrating very hard on stopping the flow of water, while Shea saw an opening to have an early breakfast. My father must have heard his paws hit the table and went running out of the bathroom, plunger in hand. Shea chowed down on the half of bagel he managed to scrounge. My mother telling my father to "just let him have it." She continued, "he hasn't had breakfast yet. He is just hungry."

My poor mother. She is just too sweet and kind in all facets of her life. She is as far from a dog person as you can get, but Shea is like a ray of sunshine sent down from heaven. The boy can do no wrong.

With this entire incident, mind you I only heard it, I am wondering where the best place for Shea is on my weekend trips to Cleveland. I don't want Shea to be a burden on my parents. I can see where that may start to happen if they continue to lose half of their breakfast each time he is there. But, in a way, I think a little chaos does people good every once in a while. There seems to be no better time for it than a Sunday morning!

Today marks one month since I left Cleveland after moving Jeff there. One down, nine to go. Single digits, yeah!

Crack Kills

I went to a soccer game today. I should have enjoyed this intense match of highly talented teams, but my attention was drawn to something very unpleasant. You see, the soccer stadium has the equivalent of two tiers. The first is an upper level where you stand overlooking the field. Down on field level there are your normal bleachers and people sitting on the grass. While the soccer game was playing out on the field as scheduled, a female spectator stole the show. Standing in the upper tier, I had the perfect view of this girl. A young, college girl, very unsuspecting of her show stealing stunts; I think.

For this poor young girl's shirt had crept up a bit, and her jeans, unfortunately had slipped down. If it were one or the other, this may not have been a show stealer. But, the combination of both, allowed for a good amount of back and crack to show. Now, really, I didn't want to look. It wasn't a pleasant sight, but it was like there were magnets drawing my eyes, and everyone else around me's eyes, to it. The main attraction went beyond the crack, it was the striking acne that covered all that was bare. Quiet a frightening and stomach turning sight.

What I don't get is how you don't feel that. In fact, it was a fairly windy day. And certainly our chilliest day this fall. I would imagine she felt a rather strong breeze back there. At sporting events, I like to eat popcorn. I didn't have any at this soccer game, but I sure wish I did. I imagined myself tossing my popcorn in hopes of landing in the crack. I have a pretty good aim. I think I could have made a few shots.

Luckily, to the relief of everyone on the top tier, the young girl, who I am sure is extremely kind and pleasant, stood up and left. I continued on watching the game much happier. Others, however, expressed the lasting effect of the crack. I guess crack only kills some. I am a survivor.

You've Got Mail

I love when Jeff says, "I sent you an email." I always have high hopes. Maybe he is going to admit how much he misses me or tell me how important our love is. Yea, cause that is so like him! The content doesn't actually matter, the fact that Jeff is thinking about me means enough. And trust me, in this case, that is a good thing!

Some recent emails have been the normal chit chat you would expect between a married couple throughout the work day. Updating each other on what is going on and plans for the day and night. Some other emails, not what one may consider typical.

As I have said, I get high hopes when I get emails from Jeff. The highest of hopes came when I received an email with the subject saying, "This Reminded me of you." Wow, how cute is that? He is thinking of me! Different things remind me of Jeff all the time, it's so nice to know he's reminded of me too. Just what could it be? I got all tingly imaging what may lay inside this email. I opened it to find a link. Okay, a link wasn't exactly a proclamation of love, but this could still be good. I clicked on the link and a new window popped up with an interesting article. An article that quiet obviously reminded Jeff of me. What do you think it was? An article about love? An article about a strong, charismatic young woman resembling me? I had to laugh as I viewed the article about cottage cheese legs, otherwise known as cellulite. The article about the new medical treatments to get rid of cellulite reminded my husband of me. Lovely! So what, I have a little cottage cheese sprinkles on my upper legs and butt. I am not quiet ready for a medical treatment over this, but hey, it is nice to know one exists!

Another strange email that sticks out in my head is the one I received today. Another link. Great, what is this one about, gastric bypass surgery? It was a video. Much better right? Maybe it was a nice video like the one I made for Jeff on our anniversary. Stupid high hopes again! As soon as I clicked the video, I knew this was nothing sweet. In fact, it was quiet the opposite. Possibly the most disgusting thing I have ever watching. Something that made my eyes water as held on tightly to my evening meal, hoping it would be spewed all over the computer screen.

For those of you who don't know me well enough, I am kidding about these emails disappointing me. In fact, I like that Jeff keeps me on my toes. The boy is thinking about me, no matter what content he is sending me, that is what matters most. He keeps me entertained, and that keeps me happy. Keep them coming Jeff!

If you are interested in the video, here you go:

http://www.iamboredr.com/media/13891/OMFG_Its_gotta_be_the_biggest_zit_in_the_world/

Out of Sight

The saying goes, "out of sight, out of mind." It's something Jeff always jokes about. He says as soon as he is gone, to me, he is "out of sight, out of mind." If this blog doesn't prove that saying so wrong, I don't know if anything could. 

I don't always write about Jeff. It's certainly not because he is not on my mind. In fact, I think about him all the time. I am reminded of him by several things throughout the day, no matter how big or small. To me, "out of sight, out of mind" does  not float. I find it absurd. Here is a small list of things that I notice remind me of Jeff throughout my days:

1. Shea. I know he's a dog and not our child, but I have always felt as though he has made our family complete. I don't see a resemblance of Jeff in Shea like you would a child, but I love the fact that Shea is who he is because of the role Jeff played in training him. 

2. Whenever I see a cop and think I am going to get pulled over. Sadly, this happens more often than one would like. Jeff never quiet cared when he passed a cop. With friends in the right places, Jeff always expresses that he has a get out of jail free card. I wish I had that same confidence in those friends abilities to save me! 

3. Farts. I don't hear farts on a daily basis anymore. It's not that I miss them; I don't! But, I miss having the person who farted around. So, when I get a whiff of a fart, I smile because think of my lovely husband and his stomach churning farts.

4. Grocery Shopping. Jeff and I have pretty different tastes. While grocery shopping, I would get an eclectic cart full of groceries to fit both of our likes and needs. Now, I get groceries for myself and my uncle. In the aisles I see the things I used to buy for Jeff. Sometimes I throw them in the cart, then realize they aren't necessary right now, and have to put them back. I don't eat pepperoni, but I like to buy it every once in a while for the feel of normalcy. 

5. The Mets. Every night during baseball season for as long as I have known Jeff, he has watched the Mets. As unlikely as it seems, since I was little, I have also been a Mets fan. Not quiet hardcore, but a Mets fan none the less. Jeff has helped me make the transition into a real fan who enjoys watching the daily games (even when they suck). I still watch the Mets games. They aren't as enjoyable by myself, but it only seems right to watch them. 

6. Ice Cream. There is a local ice cream shop that I love. I go there so often, I don't have to order. I just walk up to the window and they go and get my ice cream. My husband argues that he hates ice cream. He is the only person that hates ice cream, but craves it. We often went out for ice cream on evenings these cravings took him over. I always have an urge to order a peanut butter cup sundae with chocolate ice cream with the silly hope that Jeff will be there to eat it when I get home. 

7. Any form of trivia. Whether it be Jeopardy, crossword puzzles, or Boxed In, I am thinking about Jeff. All of these brain teasers, logic puzzles, or trivia, whatever you want to call them, are things we would do on our own or together. As stupid as it sounds, I always like to do well on these things to try to impress Jeff. At times, I am really bad and my goal is completely squashed. Other times, I get on a roll and do well, but it never really impresses Jeff anyways. Oh well, I still enjoy doing these things with Jeff. 


8. Teeth. I know it sounds rather odd, as most people have teeth, but nobody has Jeff's teeth. My husband has the most perfect teeth you will ever see. It's not just me, it really isn't. You wouldn't believe that amount of people who have told me Jeff has an amazing smile and perfect teeth. It is beyond true! I see teeth, whether they are crooked or straight, yellow or sparkling white, and I think of the best teeth I have ever seen; Jeff's. Nobody's teeth compare!

For right now, I am going to end my list. It is certainly not because there I am out of things that remind me of Jeff on a daily basis. The real problem is that I started writing late tonight and I need to go to bed in hopes of getting up in time tomorrow morning. With that, goodnight to all my readers. There are just too many to individually name!  

Indians

As we speak, Jeff is at the Cleveland Indians game in a luxury box. Come on Jeff, you couldn't pull those string when I am planning on being in town? I know there is room for me in that box. I won't get in anyone's way and I won't eat too much luxury food.

The past month, I have been hinting that I would like to go to an Indians game, but Jeff has had no interest. If I said I'm a huge Indians fan, that would be a lie. However, I have always wanted to go to all Major League Baseball fields. I am not very far along (6 fields), but going to an Indians game would get me one step closer.

I guess sitting down with the common folk, in the average seats, is above Jeff. He is a luxury box kind of guy, and he expects nothing less. I hear once you get a taste of luxury you never want to go back! Why would you, look at this place....

 

Yes, not only is Jeff at the game in the luxury box, he is also sending me pictures to rub it in. I was perfectly happy with the Press Box this weekend. I felt important and privileged. Imagine the joy I could feel in a luxury box!

Interesting Pajamas

Before Cleveland came along, Jeff and I had spent several days apart. It is just the nature of his job. Recruiting, scouting, working camps, and road games keep him constantly on the move.

While never a huge fan of Jeff being away, there were certain things I would do while he was gone. Things I wouldn't necessarily do while Jeff was home, but I  knew I had time when he was away.

One major thing I would do was run back and forth. I would run through the living room and kitchen, again and again. Each time back and forth was one tenth of a mile. I would run back and forth hundreds and hundreds of times, racking up anywhere from three miles to seven miles. Yes, I kept track.

I would not do the dishes. I would let them pile in the sink, a huge pet peeve of Jeff’s. They would sit there in all their filthy glory. Each time, I would specifically plot out the time Jeff would be home, and schedule a major dish washing session into my daily activities.

I found things I thought Shea would enjoy chewing. Rather than just throwing away cardboard boxes, plastic bottles, or newspaper, I'd throw it to Shea and let him go to town on it. He’d shred it all across the living room, and I would pick it up piece by tiny piece.

 I would shower with the bathroom door open, sleep in the (clean) clothes I was going to run in the next morning, and not make the bed. All things that would drive Jeff crazy! I didn’t necessarily do these things because I wanted to or because they felt good, I just did them because I could.

I do not do these things anymore. It is not as refreshing knowing that Jeff will not be coming home. I viewed it almost as a challenge to get things as normal as possible before Jeff got home.  I was usually successful, except when Jeff was sweet and came home early to surprise me. Mostly the result of those times was an unmade bed.  The only tendency I have continued is to sleep in the clothes I run in in the morning. It is just so much more efficient. It saves a lot of time. Time I wouldn’t mind wasting if I could wake up next to Jeff. Quiet obviously, when I am with him, I am a better Suzie homemaker, and a better person.

A Long Run

I had to go to the bank today. I am probably one of the only people who says they are running to the bank, and then, literally, runs there. The bank is conveniently located a half a mile away. This would be appreciated by most, but I like to run to the bank and a half a mile doesn't give me a great workout. So, I took the five mile route home.

When I run, I like to take a lot of turns. It keeps me busy and I like the change of scenery. On my way back, I hated seeing the open road ahead with no place to turn for about a mile. As I was dreading the upcoming mile, I reminded myself that I had just ran a half marathon a month ago. Thirteen miles a month ago and now five is killing me. I couldn't help but think, "yea, I ran a half marathon a month ago. But Jeff was also living here with me a month ago!"

My life has readily changed this past month. Obviously the most life altering difference would be my husband living in another state. With that I had to move. I started school again, teaching a new grade none the less. And, thirteen miles has become a seemingly impossible run. Well, not impossible, but extremely painful.

While I am sad that my endurance has belittled so quickly, I like to think I at least have a legitimate excuse. I also have a very fond memory of my last long haul. A run through Times Square as my husband cheered me on! I'll be back there someday, probably not too long from today.

Back To Reality

After a wonderful weekend spent with my husband, I am back home. Last night we went to the Case football game and worked in the press box. Jeff has to work at some of the football games and last night was one of them. I am not hugely into football, but watching the number 10 ranked team (division 3) in the country from the press box was pretty cool! We also went to a half-way to St. Patrick's Day party. Today we went to the gym for a while and out to an early dinner before I had to be to the airport. We did not do anything extravagant, but it was great just to be together. The stupid little things that couples take for granted, are the things that now mean so much.

Once at the airport, with goodbyes and a few tears behind me, I was disappointed to hear my flight would be delayed due to mechanical problems. Great! I'm sitting here, in the same city as Jeff, and I can't even be with him! On top of that, my plane has is falling apart! I wanted to cry, but shedding tears in public is not really my thing. So, I decided to eat! With the first announcement, I treated myself to a large ice cream covered in Oreo cookie crumbles. I was just finishing up my sundae when they announced that we would be delayed at least another hour. I felt the need to eat more. I was thinking Goldfish or Animal Crackers, some of my favorite snacks, but on my way to the little snack store, the smell of Cinnabon's captured my attention. I am usually fairly good at passing up those delicious aromas, but today it was not happening. This delay had resulted in a Cinnabon with an extra carton of frosting. With all the flying I am going to be doing, I hope for the sake of my body, that my flights don't get delayed too often! The food was very tasty, but still not worth me sitting in the same city as Jeff, unable to see him.

Now that I am back home, I can't decide if coming back this time was better or worse. In one aspect, it is better because I have an idea what to expect. I have done it before. However, that is what also makes it worse. I have done it before. Being without Jeff, whether it's been done before or not, makes nothing easier or better.

I miss him already, and now my dog is mad at me. I came home smelling like Jeff, and he didn't get to see him. And yes, Jeff, I told Shea you say hi.

Cleveland Rocks!

Cleveland rocks, for many reasons I'm sure. But to me, only because Jeff is here!

I have learned that the flight from Albany to Cleveland is not one of high popularity. Thus, we had the smallest plane ever made. I felt like the Incredible Hulk trying to squish into a child safety seat. If I reached out my arms in each direction, I could have touched the windows on both sides of the plane.

Other than some swaying during take-off and touch-down, the little plane did it's job. I had actually fallen asleep, due to the exhaustion of numerous compounding thing, until the stewardess hit my knee with the beverage cart.

Excitement took me over as I walked through the gate. I couldn't wait to throw my arms around my husband! I wasn't sure which way to go, or where I was in general. I must have looked the way Shea does when we first let him out of his crate; an uncaged animal! Unfortunately, I had to walk about a mile and a half before I could even get out of the concourse. Very anti-climatic!

Seeing Jeff was worth it none the less. I am not a big crier, but I almost did just seeing him standing there. Other than our first kiss, way back when, I had never had to wait so long for a kiss. Driving back to our part of Cleveland, I felt the urge to grab his arm, just because I could. He was there, right next to me, and I could touch him.

We have plans for the night, with no idea when we will be back. I hate that tomorrow is only a day away, but I will throw that thought out the window in turn for enjoying every moment we have. In order to do that, I am done with my post today!

Airport

I am heading to the airport soon. My flight leaves at 6:15. Rather than coming home, packing, and controlling my excitement, I have gone through and erased parts of my blog. I honestly feel, after reviewing them over and over again, that there is nothing harmful or inappropriate here. However, I am now a paranoid android and deleted anything that may be possible to misinterpret. How unfitting for a blog. But, my job means the world to me. There is one other thing of more importance to me in the form of my family (pup included!). So, you have an edited, dumbed down version now. Apparently in today's society, all some people deem appropriate is one-lined tweets.

With all this nonsense, I will undoubtedly still enjoy my weekend. I will write this weekend, as I have vowed to write each day. I did not however, vow to write a lot. So, take what you get! I'm not even on the plane yet, but I can't wait to get off!

The Internet is a Dangerous Place

What a mess! I have always loved the internet. I think is great to have information available instantly, to be able to stay in touch with friends across the world, and to talk and video chat with my husband when we are apart. However, it certainly is a dangerous place. 

My credit card numbers haven't been faultily used, my identity hasn't been stolen (I don't know who would want it), and my picture hasn't been smeared all over The Dirty. Disregarding those possibilities, the internet seems pretty safe. But, you never know what lurks ahead, trust me!

Today I was approached and told that people have seen my blog. Great! Right? Wrong. Apparently it is being viewed as a negative thing. A blog I created so that my husband, my family, and my friends can follow the year we are spending apart, is a bad thing. I was not aware of that, and that surely was not my intention when creating this blog. Something I have thought to be very innocent and honest, is being taken in a different way. Where is the negativity? I have been going about my life with a positive attitude and a rosy outlook. 

I was also forewarned that people think I could lose my job due to this blog. I have contemplated the idea, and can find no reason to believe that could be true. So, to my whopping seven followers, and obviously others that are reading this, please double check for me. Maybe I am so blinded by my intentions, that I am missing something. Is there something on here to condone even the thought of losing my job? I would be shocked to find out, but greatly appreciative. 

I know have a love-hate relationship with the internet. The same thing that enables to see Jeff every night, and maybe hear him too, is slamming me down in another aspect of my life. 

The week flew by. I am hoping the weekend drags, but I have a feeling it won't. I am looking forward to seeing my husband tomorrow and spending the weekend with him so much more than you could know! 

The Downside

I have it pretty good. Minus the fact that my husband is in Cleveland and I am in upstate New York, I have it pretty good. My family pulled through for me and I am living here with my uncle in this big, beautiful house, with a big yard, and lots of food. For the situation I am in, I definitely have it pretty good!

Life doesn't usually lay things out for people as neatly as this living arrangement came to be. There was likely to be a downfall, at some point. Besides the impeding separation, the visits from a platonic lady friend, and a friendly stalker, I couldn't find one. Until today that is. The downfall has slowly crept up on me. I did foresee this, however I convinced myself it was a minor glitch, not an actual downfall. But, looking at it realistically, it is life changing!

This life changing issue is evident in my phone log. No, I am not talking about my father again. Although the phone log would certainly prove my point beyond a doubt. I am talking about my grandmother. My grandma is not the one who bakes cookies for you, who hugs you when you walk in the door, or smiles because you are happy. Never has been like that, and at 87, I don't think she is ever going to be! Starting at the age of five, I was required to call her daily so she could cry and complain about her neighbors, co-workers, family members, and anyone that may have crossed her that day.

I was enjoying my evening relaxing with my dog and watching television. The familiar sound of my phone ringing filled the air, and excitement came over me as it does every time my phone rings. Is it Jeff? Maybe it's Jeff! It probably is Jeff! Nope, it was Grandma, for the second time tonight. I conveniently didn't make it to the phone in time when it had rang an hour earlier. I had heard my uncle's phone ring as well, as he bypassed the call too. I had to answer it because she is the person who stays up all night constrewing ridiculous thoughts about what could be wrong since we were not answering our phones.

I painfully held the phone to my ear. "Hi, Grandma," were the only two words I got out until it was time to say goodbye. I laid my head down, and held the phone up in the air for a while, knowing I wouldn't be missed. I don't know how it ended, but it finally did. Two more words, "bye, Grandma" and thirty minutes later I was free. It felt like I had just run a marathon on a hot day. I literally collapsed with exhaustion.  Only, for my phone to ring two seconds later, Grandma again!

I regretfully answered, figuring she knew I was by my phone. I was not expecting what followed. "I forgot to ask, how did I get these spider bites around my eyes?" I told you she is not typical! And, how would I know? I explained that it is pretty rare to get bit by a spider, although she claims it happens about three times a month. She wanted my opinion because I have a little ESP. If I had known I had ESP, I could have used it to foresee my husband getting a job in Cleveland and could have made sure I had one of my own! Thank goodness that phone call ended quickly.

After so graciously praising Apple for the invention of iChat, I am not happy with the fact that it was not working properly tonight. I could see Jeff, but I couldn't hear a word he said. I finally wanted to listen, and I got nothing but silence! But hey, at least I got to see him!

Bad Words

Everyday I take some time to read aloud to my fifth graders. We chose a book by a wonderful children’s author, Jerry Spinelli. It is called “Who Put That Hair in My Toothbrush.” The book was excellent and the kids were really starting to get into it. As I was reading today, this captivating book took a turn for the worse.

I’m reading along and come to a sentence that says, “Do you think there are any virgins in California?” A book aimed at 10, 11, and 12 year olds is talking about virgins!  I instantly paused, taken aback. All 24 of my students immediately drew silent and didn’t move. They couldn’t figure out why I had stopped reading. I recovered as quickly as I could, substituting teenager for the word virgin. I know, I know, it made no sense at all, but I was in a bind. None of the kids questioned it. They probably just thought they didn’t understand it.

In the past whenever I have come across inappropriate words, I have been easily able to substititue them, and move on with no indication of the missed word. The story moves on from the bad language without losing meaning. However, today, that was not the case. With just a glimpse, my eye caught the words virgin, sex, virginity, and sexy in the text ahead. I stopped in my tracks.  There’s no way it says that. Did Jerry Spinelli really write this book? I must be mistaken. Maybe, someone named Jerry Spinetty wrote the book and I only saw the Jerry Spin part, and assumed it was Spinelli. Because the same author who just last year had my fourth graders gushing over his book, “Loser,” and doing somersaults over “4^th Grade Rats,” couldn’t have written this book! Or, maybe my mind was in a really dirty place today and I was imagining these words on the page. I did a double take to be sure. The words were definitely right there on the page.

As I closed the book and a look of fear took over the kids’ faces. They didn’t move a muscle, scared that they had done something wrong to make me stop reading. Fear was definitely present in the classroom. Still being only the 5^th day of school, I couldn’t let them sit there in fear. I admitted to the kids, “I can’t read this book anymore.” I didn’t know what else to do. I had no other clever ideas on how to get around this. As any inquisitive 10-year old would want to know, they asked, “Why, Mrs. Gorski?” I was blunt, and told these innocent children there were bad words in the book and I just couldn’t read on. Of course, they wanted to know what bad words. One girl commented, “A bad word like stupid?” I responded that I had no problem reading stupid, but these were some pretty bad words and that I’d like someone to go get me a new book to read. They eagerly shot up and retrieved a book.

My sweet 5^th graders told me that I should throw the book out.  I was impressed by this. I know that when I was in 5^th grade, the moment the teacher turned her head, I would try to see what bad words were in there.  I am lucky to have a group of kids that are so much better than I ever was!

On a side note, Shea really misses Jeff. I am really looking forward to Friday, but poor Shea has a while longer to wait. 

pfffft

My mother's friend, Sherry, recently got very in depth about all the grotesque things her body does now that she is getting older. She happens to be a 6th grade teacher, so very close to the age of kids that I work with. One of the less, yes, less, detailed topics she touched upon was flatulence. Sherry feels a lot more gassy now a days, for no reason in particular. A big problem is when she stands up and some gas seeps out unsuspectedly. The majority of the time it makes no noise, but she fears that as time goes on, the noise will come along with the wind.


The big problem with this, as a teacher, Sherry stands up and sits down a number of times throughout the day with prepubescent surrounding her. Nothing, and I mean nothing, sets of prepubescent kids like farts! When they hear one, they just cannot get over it. Ten minutes later they are still talking about it and giggling.


I am glad I am not in Sherry's situation, as if she is caught "letting one rip" so to speak, it will never be forgotten by her students. However, I do think she has some options. First, and probably the most profession thing to do would be to ignore it. Continue on like nothing happened. The kids will notice, but they would never accuse the teacher of farting. They will instantly turn the blame to each other. Being the leader of the classroom, Sherry could simply tell the kids to drop it. The other option I have come up with is to simply blame one of the students. The first option was the high road, this, not so much. But, the teacher definitely won't be accused of committing the fart crime if she looks toward some of the students as the culprits.


Either way, when a fart slips out in front of the kids it is a sight to see. Sometimes, the dealer's jaw drops, and guilt is quickly painted across his or her face. Other times, possibly when more seasoned farters slip, fingers are quickly pointed accusing anyone within the general vicinity. So, in the end, my advice to Sherry would be to not respond like the jaw-dropping, guilt ridden dealer. Play it cool, have no reaction, and the kids will inevitably blame each other.

Stalker

I have a stalker. Really, I do. I go to the bathroom, I have a missed call. I run into the grocery store, I have a missed call. I pump gas, I have a missed call. I take a shower, two missed calls. And, it doesn't stop there! I am getting ready to walk out the door, a car pulls into the driveway. I sit at the kitchen table, with Shea resting calmly at my feet, when he suddenly goes nuts because someone is circling the house. Yes, I have a stalker. Call the police you say? That isn't the quick fix in my situation. You see, the stalker is my father.

My father, the one who wouldn't let me have a pet when I was growing up, has rapidly fallen in love with my dog. He's so head over heels in love with Shea that he needs to see him everyday. Some days I bring the big guy up to my parents' house so Shea can swim and run around the backyard. My dad loves it and begs me not to leave. Or at least, if I do need to go, to leave Shea with him. The majority of the week, I cannot do this. So in order to get his Shea fix, my father comes over to my uncle's house randomly. The door will suddenly open and he will appear. If the door is locked, he will walk around the house and come in the back porch. He will relentlessly shower Shea with attention until he has to go. 

Wow, this sounds more like my dad is stalking Shea and not me! This extreme behavior began once we found out Jeff got the job in Cleveland. With that, Shea and I will inevitably be moving to Cleveland in nine months. My father, as any father would, is having a hard time coming to grips with that fact. He feels as though I, his baby daughter, am slipping away from him. This of course is not true, as 450 miles will separate us, not oceans or the heavens above. However, with this vision of Jeff and I, and yes Shea too, in Cleveland, my father has reverted back to the days when I was 16. Where everything I did and went were under a microscope to observe and analyze.  

Being stalked really isn't fun. I feel sorry for Shea.

Plates

How corny are personalized license plates? If you have one, sorry if I've offended you. People love to put their names on their license plates. Here's a news flash people, nobody cares! Maybe, at most, there are three people in the world who care if you drive by them. And, those are the people that are most likely to be sitting in your passenger's seat. Save your money, and your dignity!

Even worse than those self-named plates, are the ones that have someone else's name on them. My favorite Major League Baseball player is Jose Reyes. I would not be caught dead riding in a car that has a license plate depicting his name and number. But, there are people out there who feel that is necessary. They actually take the time and money to make this happen.

So, as you can imagine, when I saw a "JETER2" license plate today, I got thinking. Really, you like Derek Jeter that much? I bet you Derek Jeter doesn't even like Derek Jeter that much! Granted if he did like himself enough to want that personalized license plate, he couldn't even get it. It isn't even an option for him because this fan, felt the need to declare their love for Derek Jeter by driving around a Chevy Malibu with a his name on the plates. I highly doubt Jeter is driving around a Chevy Malibu, and hanging around upstate New York, so this is just an obsessive fan.

Do you think Jeter would be flattered by the plate? I think he should be scared!

My first week back to work is officially complete. It was a success. As I was walking out of school this afternoon, my principal stopped me in the hall and asked what my plans for the weekend were. He is one of only three people at the school who know the situation between Jeff and I. I wanted to fill him in before he heard whatever story may end up going around school when people start to find out my husband isn't in the area anymore. So, when he asked the question, he got a silly grin on his face, almost saying, "I know something most people don't!" I filled him in that I was not heading to Cleveland this weekend, but that I would be next weekend. He has been really good about asking me how I am doing and how I am adjusting once in a while. And, as I have vowed, I am only saying positive things. Those alcoholics really have a good system over there! The "fake it till you make it" is really working. I have noticed a good, up-beat attitude that I have developed in all areas of life as of late. It's a wonder there are any alcoholics left out there!


Besides that, next week at this time, I will be in Cleveland with Jeff! Looking forward to it! Very much!

09/09/09

The date, 09/09/09, has more significance to me than just a numerical coincidence. Today is the 2nd anniversary of me and Jeff's wedding. As you can imagine, it is really not ideal to spend your anniversary in different states. However, I feel as though it made us get really creative and thoughtful with our anniversary. As I mentioned yesterday, most likely, if we were here together, we would go out to dinner, get an extravagant dessert, and then just spend the rest of the night together. As nice as that would have been, it is very common. Not much thought goes into that. It is what a lot of people do on their anniversaries. Obviously, this was not an option for us today, so we adjusted.


The first sign that today was my anniversary came at the end of my school day. Yes, it was the first day of school today. It went wonderfully and my class seems wonderful! As my class and I were waiting to go out to the buses, I was told there was something for me in the main office. It had to be from Jeff, I knew it! I was curious what it was, maybe flowers. Yea, probably flowers! Since it was the first day of school, getting on the bus is a whole process. As I dwelled on what could be waiting for me in the office, I momentarily thought, maybe it's Jeff. Maybe the something in the office is actually Jeff! I realized how silly this was, and immediately went back to the flowers. It must be. Come to find out, about five minutes later, it was an edible arrangements bouquet. It was gorgeous and looked absolutely delicious! I am a big fruit eater, so this was just perfect! Everyone was so jealous over how sweet my husband was. I was proud that he knows me so well!

Jeff also got my gift today and he really liked it, or at least he says. I sent him a DVD. After I knew he got it and saw it, I posted it on YouTube. Here is the link. Check it out, it's sooooo worth it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_93Fq5hv2nk


See how creative we got? You never did those things on your anniversary did you? You probably went out to a nice dinner, had dessert, and spent the evening together.


We were able to do dinner together. It was by far the best part of my day. That is saying a lot, because I had a great day! It wasn't so much that I had cooked a fabulous dinner. It was more that I got to actually sit down and eat with my husband. We may not have been physically at the same table, but we were  undoubtedly together. Spending our anniversary apart was not as awful as I expected it to be. In fact, it was just perfect! (I hope it never happens again).

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is our anniversary. Two years. Tomorrow is also the first day of school. I will meet my new class and we will start our year together. Tonight Jeff asked me if I was excited for tomorrow. I said yes. For what you ask? School to start. Does that sound mean? I am excited for my time to be taken up by something useful, something that keeps me active, and thinking, and moving. It's not that I am not excited for our anniversary, but well, I guess I'm not. Sorry. I am glad that we will be through two full years of marriage. I am happy that with each added year, we get closer to not being considered newlyweds. Maybe even, that with each additional year our marriage becomes more credible. Not necessarily to me, because I know what it is all about, but to others who think we are some young whipper snappers who got married on a whim. This notion is actually supported greatly by the fact that I look like I am 15 years old. Oh well! 

I can't help but think something good will come of tomorrow. I might even say I am expecting something. I feel like Jeff might have something up his sleeve. I don't want to get to hooked on that idea, as disappointment can be painful. I am just curious to find out. If not, I really don't care, because you better believe I have something up my sleeve. I can't say now, Jeff is one of my six glorious followers. I'm sorry to the remaining five readers, (boy my blog is really popular!)but you will have to wait until I get word from Jeff and don't ruin anything! 

Tonight Jeff and I made a plan to make our anniversary a little more intimate. What would we normally do on our anniversary? Since we have had one of them so far, it's not like there is some sort of tradition or anything. But, we most likely would go out for a nice dinner together, have some delectable dessert, and do things that adults do. Which of those can we do 450 miles away? Well, I guess, really, we could do all of them, but i don't want to get too personal here. Tomorrow night Jeff and I have a date! We are going to cook ourselves dinner. Me, chicken cacciatore, and Jeff, chicken parmigiana. Our favorites. Definitely what we would order at the nice Italian restaurant we would celebrate our anniversary at! When we are all cooked up and ready to eat, we are going to go online and get on iChat. We will eat dinner together tomorrow!  It is the best way we could think of to spend our anniversary together, apart. It could definitely be worse. Thank you Apple for iChat! 

Too Much Information!

I met my aunt at the outlets in Lee, Massachusetts to do some shopping. Being a holiday and all, there were no doggy daycare places open today.  That meant the big guy had to come with me. I had brought him one other time, in early June, and he was excellent! I was hoping for the same result!

When a dog is as handsome as Shea, he draws attention. People “ooooh” and “ahhhhh” over him. So, when this man approached me while we were standing in front of J.Crew I wasn’t surprised. The man was older, I would say mid 60’s, tall with grey hair and glasses. He crouched down to Shea’s level and preceded to tell me about his yellow lab, Champ. He and his wife had to put Champ down last year. He was over 16 years old! That is a great dog life!

He thought it was wonderful that I was able to bring Shea with me, he used to bring Champ everyone with him. “Actually,” he continued, “We still bring him with us.” Aw, isn’t that sweet? He must be spiritual and feel like everyone he goes, his doggy is with him. That’s nice! The guy really should have stopped talking at the point, before he gave out too much information, especially to me, some random person he just met. Because what followed, made me take back my sweet thoughts and get a little itchy. 

Would you believe it? He and his wife had Champ cremated, and they take him with them everywhere they go!! “He’s in the car right now, no lie,” he said. OOOOkay, enough of that! With a little pull on the collar, Shea and I were out of that odd conversation.

I totally understand that it must be extremely hard to lose a pet. Believe me, my heartaches at the thought. But, I think this man and his wife really need to let Champ rest in peace. Bury his ashes, scatter them in a place he loved, something other than traveling around with him in a bag sitting right next to you. Also, I wouldn’t exactly go around sharing that information! 

Good Citizen

This past April I brought Shea to Canine Good Citizen class. It is the first step toward becoming a therapy dog, although Shea’s chances of that are slim to none, due to his boundless energy. In the class, I always placed Shea as second to worst behaved. There was this one dog Curly that always growled at people and other dogs. Miraculously, at the end of the classes, Shea passed his test and became a certified Canine Good Citizen.

My mother and I brought Shea to a new dog park today. It was full of nature trails through the woods. Dogs were allowed to be off leash, but I decided that wasn’t the best idea for Shea. We hiked and hiked, and Shea just loved it. He was sniffing around, wagging his tail, and peeing on just about every ten feet to mark his territory. After hiking a good three miles, and meeting up with a few dogs, we headed to the car. I had packed Shea a big jug of water and while I was giving him a treat before heading back to my parents’ house, a car pulled up.

“Have you seen a black lab, eight months old, on any of the trails,” the man in the car asked. Right away I noticed two little girls sitting in the back teary eyed. I quickly learned that this family’s home backs up to the trails, and their lab got out of the yard and gone onto the trail. I imagined what I would do if anything ever happened to Shea, and I knew I had to help. The family was going to drive around the perimeter of the park, and Shea and I were going to run through the inside, looking for the pup. My mother was going to wait at the picnic tables near the parking lot to relay any messages.

Running through the trails, I was whistling, hoping to attract the puppy. Many times, Jeff and I have hid things from Shea and told him to “find it.” Shea has learned what “find it” should look like, and puts his nose down and weaves around looking for whatever his treasure is. He does this, even when he has no clue what he is looking for. So, I told Shea to “find it,” and he was hard at work. I would love to tell you that we found the puppy. Not quiet. But, there is a happy ending, as I ran into the guy who found the puppy! We were able to get him back to his family. I was so relieved for them. Although, we didn’t find him per-say, I like to think that Shea put his Good Citizenness to use today. After our original hike, he definitely could have just pooped out and laid down. But, when I told him to “find it,” he listened; at least until we knew “it” was found.

The Canine Good Citizen:

Other than that, I miss my husband. That is all I will say. Just tonight, I realized I could have driven out to Cleveland Friday and stayed till today. Jeff, did you think of that? What an idiot I am! Oh well, two weeks till my first flight out! I can’t wait, really I can’t! 

Grandma Kitty

Grandma on her 86th Birthday

I was in Cleveland with Jeff on my grandmother's 87th birthday. I spoke to her on the phone, but didn't get to see her. I hadn't seen her since I've been home either, so I decided to visit her today. I picked up some cider donuts on my way to go along with her birthday gift.

My grandma is different than most. Personally, I think she has split personalities. To tell which personality you are going to get, you can just check out her make-up. If her make-up is dark and kind of sloppy, she's having a day! A day, meaning a crazy mood, crazy talk, and some irrational comments. More subtle make-up doesn't mean you are off the hook. It just means that her mood is a little less crazy, talk will be a little less crazy, and there will still be some irrational comments.

When I arrived at her apartment complex, a senior citizens community, she didn't have much make-up on and she seemed happy to see me. Always a good sign! She shared feelings of distraught over Jeff being in Cleveland, and us being apart so early in our marriage. She feels that us young people like to have sex and cuddle a lot. Apparently, those desires will fade away as we get older. In fact, rich and educated people like to sleep in separate beds. Now, I have read that if you want a good night's sleep, sleep in a separate bed, but I think it is more of a joke than what people actual do. However, my grandmother definitely has some difficulty distinguishing between jokes and seriousness. She proceeded to explain that rich educated people actually do that. They have sex together in one bed, then go and sleep in separate beds. Really? I didn't realize my grandmother knew that many rich, educated people that she talked to about their sex lives. Personally, I think rich, married people who sleep in separate beds do so for another reason. I have seen that as power and money come into someone's life, it is much easier to use those things to get sex elsewhere, from someone other than their spouse. I also think, more than we realize, that married couples who are not necessarily together, continue to live in the same house. That is why I believe rich people sleep in separate beds.

My grandma is also the type of person who has to have the last word when you say goodbye. As you can imagine, it's not that she needs to say goodbye, but feel the need to spit out some random information that she feels is important for you to remember. Advice, usually. Advice that only a grandma who reads too many National Enquirers would give. It is always advice that she finds vitally important, but the average person would have no regard for. So, as I was walking out the door, I heard my grandmother's voice trailing, "And don't go out when there's a full moon. That's when the crazies are out!" I didn't realize that! I thought all the crazies were tucked away safely in their senior citizen community apartments.

Anyways, it was a spectacular visit. Remember, her make-up wasn't even crazy today! Do you see what I mean when I say that doesn't mean the coast is clear? It just means that things are a little toned down. And yes, that was toned down.

Mount Vesuvius

I never knew Mount Vesuvius was in New York. I always think of myself as in good shape, physically fit. Two weeks ago I ran in the New York City half marathon. I feel as though I could run a marathon, the whole 26.2 miles, on any given day. But, since the half marathon, I haven’t been running, with the upheaval of my life, and the craziness of moving. So, while I wouldn’t say I am out of shape, I get a little more winded than I am used to.

This morning, I took Shea for a run and decided to go straight up and down the street. My uncle’s house is over half a mile up a big, continuous hill. As Shea and I started running, I was thinking to myself, “wow, I am feeling good!” I was so excited by how great I was feeling, thinking maybe I wasn’t in as bad of shape as I had thought!

Then, I realized how idiotic my thoughts were! I was running down a huge hill, or as I see it, a small mountain. Luckily, I felt pretty good coming back up the hill. It probably helped that Shea stopped a few times to mark his territory and sniff around. I have no doubt that I will be able to tackle this hill with no difficulty by next week!

This evening I brought Shea to get a bath. At the local pet store you can use their facilities and all of their equipment to wash your dog. Poor Shea was not happy about his bath. I didn’t dare try to give him a bath myself, as normally Jeff and I have to tag team him and still have difficulty.

Before heading home, I stopped at our old apartment to pick up our mail. Shea kept head butting the door hoping to get in. I am pretty sure he though Jeff was in there. With all of the confusion for him, he has adjusted pretty well! Now, I am trying to retrain him not get up on the couches.

Sorry for the boring post, I have a feeling the weekend will help spice it up a bit! 

No Room For Miserable!

Today I decided to read over my blog, make sure it was decent, presentable, and all that. As I was reading, I realized it was really depressing! I have no room for depression in my life! The way I look at it, it takes more work to be depressed than it does to be happy. Especially for me. I think everyone I know would agree that I have a rather pleasant disposition. It is definitely a rarity to find me in a bad mood. What reason is there to be anything but happy? I am healthy, happy, I have a wonderful family, and I have love. My love may be far away, but that just proves that the love Jeff and I share is stronger than most. I truly believe not everybody could do this. Other people couldn't handle the time apart, other people wouldn't trust each other, and other people couldn't sacrifice what we have for each other and our future. We are not typical and I am so happy about that.

Besides knowing that I have all of the aforementioned things, Jeff and I also have the most handsome, friendly, and playful dog. I won't say that he is the most well behaved, because while he is good the majority of the time, he has his moments. And those moments are usually pretty extreme! But, there is not way anybody, not even the most depressed person in the world, could not smile at the big guy! What do you think?

Did you smile? I know I always do. I hope he brings a smile to your face and you come back to read more. 

Feel sorry for me. I had to get up early to go to this New York State teachers' program. Being a teacher, getting up early has not been a part of my life for two months now with summer and all. I know, I know, you must feel so bad for me! On my hour drive to the conference center this program was at, I couldn't help but be tempted to drive around for a while and show up a little late. I was dreading it for some reason. To my surprise, the program was excellent. We were actively involved and to top it off, we were served a three course lunch! Not bad, right??

My hour drive back home is where I got really tired. In fact, I was so tired I forgot where I was going "home" to. Without thinking, I went to the place Jeff and I have called home for the past two years. I actually could see the house before I realized I didn't live there anymore and I had to drive another twenty minutes before I could get out and take a nap. That nap didn't actually happen, but it was the thought that counts!

Later in the day, I ran into one of Jeff's former co-workers. I remembered what Jeff's advice was, and how he wants me to speak only positively about our situation this coming year. I did just that; nothing but good things. I reiterated why this was the best way for us to handle the coming year, and how much we will both benefit from it. Hey Jeff, I know you are reading this (anyone else, I am not sure), it really worked! Talking so positively about it, made me feel a lot better about it. I know that when alcoholics go to AA meetings, they tell them to "fake it till they make." Meaning, basically, lie and pretend that you are sober, until you actually are. So, in essence, I am faking it till I make it too. I will pretend that I am completely okay with our living situation and the more optimistic I talk about it, the more I optimistic I will begin to feel. Thanks, Jeff! I always say you know everything!